I'm A God Father!?!

Today my new nephew was baptized and his parents, my brother Jason and his wife Sandy, asked me to be the God Father. Of course I was honored, even though the "God Father" thing for me is less about religion and more about my diablolical plan to be little Anthony's favorite uncle.

I rarely step foot in a church unless someone is getting married, someone has died or some political meeting is happening there. But this time it meant a great deal to me to be asked to be Anthony's God Father. One interesting challenge for me was that I was expected to write a letter to my nephew and read it aloud in the church.

The church was packed, it was St. Johns in Fenton, Michigan. What could I do with this opportunity to address the congregation of the church that pushed me so deep in the closet for so long? Should I use this opportunity to get a subtle jab in to the church about diversity and inclusion? After all, the Michigan Catholic Conference spent over a million dollars in 2004 working to ban marriage equality and opposed our hate crimes legislation in 1998. They had it coming to them.

They tried attacking my family, but here I was back in the church, invited by family, celebrating family. They can put barriers in the way of gay families but they can't but barriers in the way of love and my family loves me no matter what. My brother asked his gay brother to be his son's God Father. How cool!

I decided I would keep my letter secular and no one would notice because it would be sweet, poetic, and whimsical. I pulled it off and was excited, and nervous.

After my remarks, a number family members, parishoners (including the priest) complemented me for the great letter and others were actually crying. I was a hit. :)

My letter to my nephew follows. Enjoy.

Letter to my nephew

Anthony,

You won’t believe what your parents did! They did something truly amazing. In a world where decisions are made in haste, you were part of a plan. In a world distracted by celebrity and gossip, your parents were focused on you. In a world poisoned by lead, pollution and noise your parents decided to create something beautiful.

Anthony, you won’t believe what your father did! He loved your mother so much he wanted to start a family…and he did. He loved your sister so much…he wanted to have you. As a man with many responsibilities, your father prioritized you. In a world where boys call themselves men and these “men” see family as a chore, your father lifted you and your family up as his dream and his pride.

Anthony you won’t believe what your mother did! In a world filled with abandonment your mother was there from the start. She made sure you had a strong principled father that would be there for you always. She became a healer, a sage, a chef, an advocate, a referee, an investor and an architect of your well-being. She became all that she could so you could do the same. In a world where some mothers have given up, your mother has given you all of herself.

Most of all, your parents have promised to be your best friends and biggest fans.
I promise you that I will support you and your parents – no matter what. I pledge to be a mentor, a friend, a helping hand, a sounding board and a source of moral leadership in your life. I promise to love you, listen to you, challenge you and when you parents aren’t around I will spoil you rotten.

Anthony, you won’t believe how excited we are for you. Today a journey begins that hopes to prepare you for all that lies ahead. Being welcomed by your church, by your family and by a global community that hopes to leave this planet better than how they found it. I hope to be with you on this journey for as long as I know you.

Fun GM Style Event Photos

I recently attended the GM Style event as a kickoff to the North American International Auto Show coming to Detroit. The Style event was amazing and GM spared no expense to throw an amazing party. Plenty of celebs, dignitaries, models, singers, and of course cars.

Dress was "casual chic" but plenty of folks were looking hot at this event. There was an after party for the local and national gay media in town and GLBT reporters at auto magazines. Plenty of fun. Check out the pics here.

My Scar

Here is my most recent column in Between the Lines.

My Scar

All Politics is Loco: My scarby Sean KosofskyOriginally printed 01/17/2008 (Issue 1602 - Between The Lines News)

I have always prided myself in the fact that I rarely get sick. I have never broken a bone, I don't recall every getting the flu and overall I rarely am under the weather. The body I have is a body I have taken care of and in return I have been rewarded with good health. Granted much of this could be luck or good genes, but either way it is a fact.

Also, during my life I never racked up a lot of scars. The trophies to rough and tumble play, contact supports, construction work and careless handling of household tools are hard to find on me. Until recently.

In 2007 my doctor noticed that a small mole on my chest was turning darker. She decided to take a biopsy which entailed carving out a small chunk of skin from my chest, with something that looked like a cross between a small mellon baller and a metal pen. It was uncomfortable but in just a few days the results came back negative, but my doctor still worried about this pesky mole. So I had to come in a second time for her to scoop out the rest. I was worried about the scar it would leave especially when I removed the bandages and saw the (what looked like a crater-sized) hole.

The scar has healed now and there is a new point of interest on the landscape of my chest. It is a dime-sized pink cluster of tissue that is a daily reminder, each time I look in the mirror after getting out of the shower, that I was one of the lucky ones. I had health insurance.

Many of us that have always had health insurance - decent to good health insurance - know that 90% of the time the only inconvenience is the darn several-dollar co-pay for pharmaceuticals or the doctor's visit. But for those without health insurance, each day is like running an obstacle course of dodging germs, driving slower, not participating in sports or other recreational fun, and being extra careful about what you eat or drink and sometimes doing the same for your partner or children.

In Michigan nearly a million people are uninsured and many more are underinsured. And that number is growing. This is unfathomable to me that in the wealthiest nation in the world we cannot get every American the basic medical attention they need to prevent health or financial-related disaster for them or their family.

There are two ballot measures coming to Michigan this year that will directly impact this. First, this week a campaign was launched to pass universal health care in Michigan. We would be the first state to pass such a broad and progressive proposal. This is most certainly a GLBT Issues especially since so many employers either do not cover domestic partner benefits and because marriage equality keeps us from accessing the benefits that do exist for our partners. Such a ballot measure may also help transgender people with necessary transitioning services. Triangle Foundation is strongly supporting the health care ballot measure and you should too. Polling shows the measure will likely easily pass in Michigan, especially with growing concerns that our economy may leave more people uninsured in 2008.

The next ballot measure you should be wary of is something deceptively called "Right to Work" which I call "Divide and Destroy." This measure could shred labor unions in our state which would dramatically reduce the number of people in Michigan with health insurance, not to mention diminishing the power of organized labor which would lower wages in Michigan. "Right to Work" states have lower standards of living and worse health for its citizens.

In 2008 do your part for the GLBT movement while also helping countless other populations by supporting the universal health care ballot measure. Support our friends in labor and don't let Michigan regress any further like we did under the marriage ban of 2004 and the affirmative action ban in 2006. We must fight for a Michigan that people want to call home. Michigan has its own scars in our state constitution. We can begin to heal those in 2008 if we vote for our community to be protected.

Sean Kosofsky is the Director of Policy for Triangle Foundation, Michigan's leading GLBT civil rights organization.

Disecting the Pledge of Allegiance

Dissecting the Pledge of Allegiance
by Sean Kosofsky
Originally printed 01/03/2008 (Issue 1601 - Between The Lines News)

All Politics is Loco

This holiday season many of us will be wrapped in the warm thoughts of family, friendship, pretty holiday lights and our most attractive winter outfits. Many of us will drink eggnog, eat too many cookies and lie to children about Santa Claus. It is just what we do.
I have been doing a lot of thinking about cultural customs that we perform or engage in without thought. One of them is the Pledge of Allegiance. Since we were very small many of us were taught the same things about Santa Claus that we were about religion. And we were taught that family was important and patriotism, too. It is time to give more thought to the Pledge of Allegiance. So curl up with your hot cocoa, throw up the sash or eat your figgy pudding but please indulge me in examining our national addiction to obedience.

"I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

Word for word, the Pledge of Allegiance is an orgy of patriotic idolatry. First of all, the pledge focuses on the individual, not the family, the community, or the state in which you live. "I pledge" means that each of us as individuals are expected to make a personal commitment and promise to fulfill what we are about to promise. Who is monitoring us? Who is checking to see if we are allegiant? The CIA? The U.S. Department of Homeland Security? Our nosey neighbor? What does it mean to pledge allegiance? Basically we are all on our own and must be constantly on guard to make sure we are dutifully wrapped in the flag.

And why are we pledging allegiance to an object? No really...why? If the goal is to get Americans to be loyal to their country why are we not promising our loyalty to the Capitol Building, the White House or to the U.S. Constitution? Symbolism is important and it runs through much of our culture and many of our religions so I understand what the U.S. Flag is supposed to represent but let's be clear that it does not mean only one thing.

The flag means many things to many people. Thomas Paine, Benjamin Franklin, James Monroe, Andrew Jackson, Teddy Roosevelt and Ronald Reagan would have very different ideas about what the flag represents. For some it was westward expansion and for others it was the extermination of Native Americans, and for others it was land. Nowadays people will say it stands for liberty, justice and freedom, but can they explain what they mean. After 9/11 it really bothered me to watch so many Americans slap American flags on their homes or on their cars without the simplest understanding of why. I asked my friend why he put an American flag sticker on his car and he was speechless. Patriotism for patriotisms sake!

"One nation, under God. indivisible" is my favorite part to pick at. We are not one nation. As John Edwards has declared on many occasions, "there are two Americas" - and probably thirty or forty Americas. Native Americans have been raped, murdered, displaced, robbed and lied to by this America. Poor people have been thrown under the bus by this America. Huge corporations own this America. If we were truly living in "one nation" there would be no need to spy on our citizens, and we would all devote our nation's resources to caring for each other and work to eliminate poverty and injustice. But we don't live in that nation. We live in a nation divided. So divided we can't even agree that war is bad and health care is good.

Our U.S. Constitution and the founding fathers were clear that we have a separation of church and state. There is no religious test for President and there shouldn't be a religious test for citizenship. It doesn't matter if you worship a sky god or tree gods, one god or fifty. You can be an American and be Godless. Now that is the American way.

Whenever my friend Tom Zerafa says the Pledge he always waits for the end. "With liberty and justice FOR ALL." He always says the last part louder so everyone can here. He is making a point. This pledge is empty as long as each American saying it is actually pledging liberty and justice for all Americans. If you voted for the marriage ban, or the Affirmative Action ban or for George Bush the second time, you have no right saying the Pledge of Allegiance. You should be saying you're sorry instead.

Sean Kosofsky is the Director of Policy for Triangle Foundation, Michigan's leading civil rights, advocacy and anti-violence organization for LGBT people.